Despite my best efforts I have found myself bedroom-bound once again. I really need a house with no stairs. I can't even go get a cup of tea. I hate the stairs! I hate them even more when it's time to go back up!
I've been known to sit on the side of my bed in tears because I just didn't want to get out of it.
Life is small in my bedroom, but I like it that way. Everything I need is within reach (except the kitchen), and there's no over-stimulation in my bedroom.
But I need to expand my life. I need more than pain killers, colouring books, and Netflix. Well, and Yoga. Thank God I can always find my yoga mat. But, ya know, that's just another thing to tote up and down the stairs.
Remember when we were kids and everything we owned was in our bedrooms? That's what my life has become. I keep everything in my room because I never know the next time I'm gonna make it down the stairs.
So, that's my Action Plan. To set myself up a station in the living room with another set of all my things, so that I don't need to tote everything back and forth. But I am already so scared and so tired and I haven't even started yet.
When did my life come to this?
In terms of small steps at a time I had a mini revelation a couple days ago. I was going somewhere - doesn't matter where- and normally I'm thinking ahead, gotta do this, then that, then that, and oh yeah there's this...and this time, for no obvious reason I just realized this: right now I'm on my way somewhere. I'm driving. That's it. Later I will be doing that other thing, but it doesn't matter because right now I'm just doing this. Driving. It seems so dumb to even write it now, but at the time it was like "wow" all I have to do right now is drive, nothing else matters. I felt sort of at peace the rest of the day even though I was busy and still had pain.
So for me and small steps it's just trying to do the thing I'm doing right now and nothing else. The whatever comes next will just come next after this.
So Donnal, right now you are just getting out of bed. That's it. Nothing else. Whatever comes next is what you'll be doing next. If it's a goal, just do the very first next thing. Then the next.
Simple, but it just sort of hit me.
Hi Donnal, thanks for sharing your experience here on the forum. You are not alone! That's a great action plan you have. It's tough to take a small step every day, but you've got realistic goals and you're already doing yoga ( I'm so thankful for yoga too!) Is anyone else experiencing something similar or have any words of encouragement for Donnal?